Anti-social behaviour
One of the topics which runs
through every generation is the bad behaviour of its young. The
television
gives us both sides of the story - neighbours from hell or the daftest
ASBOs
they can find.
This is not to trivialise
the issue. For those who suffer from anti-social behaviour, it can be
devastating. I've lived in this country for 13 years, and I have
experienced
several examples, both personally and in my work in the housing sector.
The first problem I had was
with a man who repaired cars in the layby across the street. He worked
hard on
the cars, accompanied by loud music. He worked late into the night,
and, as I
had to get up for work in the morning, I found this annoying. I decided
to
speak to the man, much to the surprise of my neighbours. I complimented
him on
how good the cars looked. I then singled out how well the radio worked.
At this
point, he paused. I waited. He said how much he liked his music. I said
I
understood, but could he turn it down after 10:30 as I needed to leave for work in the
morning?
He agreed, and that evening, at exactly 10:30, the volume went down -
much to
my and other neighbours’ relief.
Our next encounter was not
as trivial. I went with my husband to the village - we were gone about
20
minutes, leaving our children at home. When we returned, we found them
in
extreme distress; in fact, my daughter was holding her baseball bat,
ready to
swing. Two children had come to the door asking to use the loo. In the
housing
co-op where we had lived in Canada, you let them in and all was well.
In this
case, the two boys had stolen from us.
We were stunned. My husband
left the house, and found the brother of one of them. He got the boy to
turn
over the pair, and he then demanded our things be returned. He went to
see the
parents - and was shocked at their "oh well" attitude. He marched the two youngsters into our
house, showed
them the distress they had caused, and said he wanted our things back
in one
hour or the police would be called. The older brother saw we were
serious and
told them to do as we said. We got our things back. We were
warned by
neighbours that we would have no end of trouble. One egg was thrown at
the
window, but the real result was that for the year we lived there these
youngsters behaved.
I think it's because we do
live up or down to the expectations people have in us. ASBOs are a
'badge of
honour' for those of whom we expect
little. And why not? If you
expect - and then get - the worst, an ASBO is the proof you have met
expectations.
We need to expect more not
from the government but first from ourselves and
those around us. Besides
raising our own
game, we need to accept the consequences for what we do. And maybe then we will find that the
badge of honour is
the safety and community we all crave.
© Beth Peakall, TCLuk
Housing
